I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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