She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
