I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
