That's when you crack a 10am beer
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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