i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
