pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
