He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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