But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
