thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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