the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Success! We fucked roommates!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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