my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
