Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
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Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives