Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  american apparel?

  (905): View more from Toronto

  try lime green

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  (905): it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors (1-905): american apparel? (905): try lime green http://tfl.nu/6mw7
  Replies (54) Good night (4276) Bad night (726)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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  (701): Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize http://tfl.nu/1v86
  Replies (50) Good night (4288) Bad night (702)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.

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  (469): Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think. http://tfl.nu/hmzv
  Replies (12) Good night (931) Bad night (4243)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that

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  (860): And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that http://tfl.nu/ubil
  Replies (37) Good night (2362) Bad night (6545)
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  (619): View more from California

  There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.

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  (619): There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back. http://tfl.nu/ap60
  Replies (27) Good night (6862) Bad night (1086)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.

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  (734): I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now. http://tfl.nu/ty03
  Replies (5) Good night (3452) Bad night (742)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.

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  (316): I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants. http://tfl.nu/tqrn
  Replies (5) Good night (2563) Bad night (843)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.

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  (815): Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience. http://tfl.nu/8crb
  Replies (8) Good night (2036) Bad night (606)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Where the royal fuck are you??

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  The depths of vodka hell.

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  (425): Where the royal fuck are you?? (1-425): The depths of vodka hell. http://tfl.nu/wloy
  Replies (13) Good night (2156) Bad night (660)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.

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  (520): This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings. http://tfl.nu/9nj8
  Replies (6) Good night (1788) Bad night (473)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire

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  (+61): one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire http://tfl.nu/ff4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (671)
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  (916): View more from California

  My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

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  (916): My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower" http://tfl.nu/qx3d
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (343)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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  (512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz
  Replies (7) Good night (491) Bad night (349)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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  (573): Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals http://tfl.nu/3npx
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (342)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.

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  (732): Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul. http://tfl.nu/smd4
  Replies (4) Good night (475) Bad night (235)

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