Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(202): it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously. http://tfl.nu/bvn1

Replies (7) Good night (637) Bad night (1732)
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(805): View more from California

I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.

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(805): I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense. http://tfl.nu/syxd

Replies (27) Good night (6979) Bad night (565)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex

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(604): I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex http://tfl.nu/9dx2

Replies (17) Good night (5638) Bad night (1649)
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(347): View more from New York

A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm

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(347): A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm http://tfl.nu/q9qn

Replies (13) Good night (3158) Bad night (1115)
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(240): View more from Maryland

i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.

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(240): i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark. http://tfl.nu/ophf

Replies (9) Good night (5980) Bad night (1059)
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(813): View more from Florida

So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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(813): So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer. http://tfl.nu/hmny

Replies (5) Good night (998) Bad night (3145)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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(615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh

Replies (11) Good night (2226) Bad night (739)
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(936): View more from Texas

I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

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(936): I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining. http://tfl.nu/kdvr

Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (398)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.

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(651): I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won. http://tfl.nu/jvx1

Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (369)
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(516): View more from New York

My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.

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(516): My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit. http://tfl.nu/2g7d

Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (1747)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.

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(256): Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive. http://tfl.nu/eyz9

Replies (8) Good night (831) Bad night (485)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.

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(316): I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry. http://tfl.nu/w045

Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (365)
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(425): View more from Washington

I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.

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(425): I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red. http://tfl.nu/gzxu

Replies (8) Good night (826) Bad night (259)
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(613): View more from Ontario

If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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(613): If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day http://tfl.nu/i6y7

Replies (0) Good night (323) Bad night (218)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed

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(402): woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed http://tfl.nu/vpuo

Replies (0) Good night (289) Bad night (150)

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