My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time