Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

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  (586): I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts http://tfl.nu/hmun
  Replies (3) Good night (1413) Bad night (622)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.

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  (+44): Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms. http://tfl.nu/jipl
  Replies (12) Good night (807) Bad night (5084)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  WTF??? Isn't he married??

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL

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  (910): He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding. (605): WTF??? Isn't he married?? (910): Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL http://tfl.nu/eb9x
  Replies (19) Good night (1059) Bad night (4334)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

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  (814): Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller http://tfl.nu/2xod
  Replies (9) Good night (2698) Bad night (790)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas

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  (225): Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas http://tfl.nu/fkrh
  Replies (27) Good night (6182) Bad night (2488)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid

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  (253): The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid http://tfl.nu/62ef
  Replies (23) Good night (4631) Bad night (1478)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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  (859): will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour http://tfl.nu/165f
  Replies (4) Good night (1685) Bad night (568)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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  (575): I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable. http://tfl.nu/vijz
  Replies (3) Good night (1463) Bad night (986)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yes and yes

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  (920): Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend? (1-920): Yes and yes http://tfl.nu/cdzo
  Replies (5) Good night (2193) Bad night (822)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted

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  (914): The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/dd19
  Replies (3) Good night (1510) Bad night (452)
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  (714): View more from California

  Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick

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  (714): Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick http://tfl.nu/zf2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2400) Bad night (538)
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  (510): View more from California

  Found an old burrito under my bed

  (415): View more from California

  You are a sick fuck

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  (510): Found an old burrito under my bed (415): You are a sick fuck http://tfl.nu/1myp
  Replies (5) Good night (529) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!

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  (517): When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?! http://tfl.nu/3qvz
  Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (282)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a bottle to be chill

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  and meant it

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  (604): I just told a bottle to be chill (604): and meant it http://tfl.nu/uxaa
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.

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  (317): he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh. (630): oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life. http://tfl.nu/3sw0
  Replies (0) Good night (565) Bad night (313)

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