I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.