I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
