I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
