i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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