Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
