Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she smelled like a LAN party
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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