Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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