On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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