During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
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