I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
