so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
