No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize