Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
