We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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