my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
