remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
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If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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