woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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