your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
