i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
