Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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