Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
