yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
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I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
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GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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