I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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