everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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