She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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