When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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