Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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