It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
