I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
