I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
