So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
