me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
