break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
