her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
