Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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