too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
