And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
