I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
