party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
