this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize