If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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