we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize