Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
