he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
