the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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