so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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