I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
