Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize