she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
nutella sex= disaster
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
