Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
