I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize