i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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