the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize