She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
