I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
