its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Four minutes until I can fart!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize