Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
