i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
