I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
