God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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