She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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