Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He shit in the fireplace
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
