i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
