You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
