kristin has been a bad kristin
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
